Friday, July 1, 2011

Secure Daughters, Confident Sons

When it came time for me to choose a new book to review, I chose this book purely based on the title. As the mother of one daughter and one son, I was curious to learn more about how to raise a daughter who is secure in herself and self-confident, and a son who is confident but not arrogant. The smaller title on this book, though, says, "How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity". Hmm.

Don't get me wrong, this book made some stellar points. I loved how the author pointed out the different characteristics that usually go along with being male or female, because it made me look forward to the changes I will see in my children as they get older. But it also seemed very black and white to me. Maybe I'm too liberal in my viewpoints, but should you really tell your son that "boys don't act like that"? Who am I to say how my child should act? I don't want to knock Stanton, the author, because he really says some amazing things in this book. In particular I loved the chapter about what a daughter needs most - I guess because I am a girl, and working with the youth at our church, I see this so frequently. Girls now do not have any modesty, they have low self-confidence, they don't have affirmation in themselves.

I also loved how the author spoke about the differences that men and women bring to the table when it comes to raising children. But the author spoke so much about the importance of the man and the woman. I understand that in a perfect world, children will have both parents in their lives. But it's just not possible all the time. Parents die, parents leave, parents divorce, parents deploy for 18 months at a time, parents go to jail... so who is to say that all these children are lacking just because they are void of one parent? I believe the parent who is still around can make up for what is missing in their child's life. I know I try to have that balance with my children. When they fall, I will tell them to get up; that they are okay. But if they continue to cry and tell me they are hurt, I'm absolutely going to comfort them. The author says the father will do the first action, and the mother will do the second. I believe that is too black and white.

I would recommend this book, though. It has so many good points, so as long as you can assess how it really relates to your specific situation, I believe you can learn a lot from it. It's also a very easy read. He speaks on a level that is easy to understand and makes sense.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

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