Monday, March 31, 2008

I made it!

Today is the last day of March NaBloPoMo, so as soon as I finish this post I can go back to ignoring my blog. Wooo! I have 17 lists that I didn't even get to post this month! Isn't that crazy!? For today, I wanted to end on something funny, interesting, thought-provoking, etc. I want to post some of my favorite postcards from PostSecret. There are MANY MANY more secrets that I love from this blog, but these are some I've collected since I started thinking of March posts. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Don't Do This Part Two

1. If you want to pound on the radiator to tell the landlord to turn up the heat, don't do it with your head.
2. Don't flip off the Mafia.
3. If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.
4. Wash behind your ears, not behind your eyes.
5. Light birthday cake candles from back to front.
6. Don't shave with a lawn mower.
7. Just because your body has orifices doesn't mean you should put things into them.
8. Don't stick screwdrivers into electrical outlets.
9. Although they are sold in grocery stores, batteries are not food. Do not break them open and drink what's inside.
10. The warning "Don't try this at home" really means "Don't try this at all."
11. Don't bathe in a tub full of snow.
12. Don't iron clothes while wearing them.
13. The expression "Life in the fast line" should not inspire you to live in the road.
14. Don't eat hot coals.
15. Don't escape into jail.
16. Don't wash floors with cough syrup.
17. Don't kick porcupines with bare feet.
18. Don't sled down hills with interstates at the bottom.
19. Sell at most one of your kidneys.
20. Don't lie down in a cattle pen.
21. Forks need carry food no farther than your mouth.
22. Don't test the strength of your skull with a nail gun.
23. Only squeeze the handle end of a sword.
24. Don't snap towels at passing cops.
25. Don't throw an angry cat straight up.
26. Don't lick dry ice.
27. Before you leap upside down onto a trampoline, make sure it's right side up.
28. Don't pour salt in your eyes.
29. Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Don't make any more.
30. Don't microwave yourself.
31. Don't chase a bear into the woods to get a close-up photo.
32. Don't swallow toothpaste.
33. Don't chew Tylenol.
34. Don't bathe in gasoline.
35. Don't sneak up to a stallion and whack it on the rump.
36. Don't drink water that comes from swimming pools, puddles, bathtubs, dishpans, sewage pipes, radiators, oceans, acid rain, or toilet bowls.
37. Don't stick body parts into electrical outlets.
38. Don't listen to music from the Spice Girls.
39. Don't lick toads, bulls, or jellyfish.
40. Don't go swimming in a well.
41. Rake leaves, not people.
42. Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not the floor of your house.
43. Contrary to popular opinion, you're not supposed to strip the protective rubber coating off electrical wires before plugging them in.
44. If you want to chew gum, buy some. Don't use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it's free.
45. Don't kick stone walls very hard without wearing thick-soled shoes or boots.
46. Even if you need to get downstairs quickly, don't jump out of a window -- use the stairs.
47. When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot. Better yet, stay away from acetylene torches altogether.
48. Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad.
49. Elvis is dead. Get over it.
50. Wear clothes.
51. Use a pot holder when removing items from the oven.
52. If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
53. Don't drink.
54. Don't drive.
55. Don't tie yourself to an airplane propeller.
56. Don't brush your teeth with a wire-bristled sanding wheel.
57. When using a weed whacker, don't hold the end with the wire.
58. When using a blow gun -- something you should always have a very good reason for doing anyway -- draw your breath before placing your lips around the barrel.
59. No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.
60. Give me all your money.
61. When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
62. Toasters should be used to cook bread, not your hands.

I can't remember the website I got these from. These crack me up!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Georgia trip

Last Thursday we had to make a spontaneous trip to Georgia because my grandmother had what seemed to be a stroke and then a heart attack, and things were not looking very hopeful. My whole family made the trip in a hurry. As of today, she was just moved about an hour ago to a step-down unit, which is just higher than a regular room, and is telling us how hungry she is. I cannot believe the improvements that she has made over the last three days. Prayer absolutely, definitely works, although none of us were praying necessarily that she would get better. We wanted more that she wasn't in any pain, and she's certainly not, so that's good. She talked to us several times today, which she didn't have the strength to do the other days, so that's another good sign of her improving. She's having a lot less regulations at this point, so we're extremely proud of her and happy! I want to thank everyone for your prayers because they have really gotten us through the last few days. I am so grateful that Stephen's family lives so close to the hospital and they have taken us in. We expect to be back in town by tomorrow and hopefully Grandma will be on the road to recovery!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Don't Do These Things

1. Don't eat rocks.
2. Don't take naps in the road.
3. Don't stoke fires with your fingers.
4. Don't throw a brick straight up.
5. Don't breathe car exhaust.
6. If you ever meet the President, don't offer him the surprise gift of a firearm by whipping it suddenly out of your coat pocket.
7. For all pertinent tasks, use a hammer, not your fist.
8. Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
9. Don't stargaze with friends on a hilltop in a thunderstorm and use metal fishing rods as pointers.
10. The stuff on the bottom of your shoe is not for internal consumption.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Golf Defined

GOLF, n. 1. A game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. 2. A game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind. 3. A colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red. 4. A game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort. 5. A game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.

GOLF CART, n. 1. A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.

GOLFER, n. 1. A person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five; 2. A guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

7 Least Impressive Guinness World Records

7. Greatest Distance Thrown in a Car Accident
6. Longest Ear Hair
5. Largest Collection of Traffic Cones
4. Greatest Distance Moonwalked in One Hour
3. Longest Trading Card Marathon
2. Most Functional Folding Knife
1. Most Snails on Face

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


As most people know, I am addicted to Bookmooch, which is a website where you trade books with other people. In the last few months, I have sent a dozen books and received 15. So I got rid of books I had no need for and got 15 awesome books, with three on the way. Anyway. It gave me the idea for today's list, which is Books I Want To Read But Don't Own Yet, But Are On My Bookmooch Wishlist. I can't wait to read these books!! Also, if you own any and would like to let me borrow it, rather than using up my points, I would love that!

1. Becoming A Prayer Warrior by Elizabeth Alves
2. Driven By Eternity by John Bevere
3. Glow in the Dark by Bill Bright
4. The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne
5. I Am American (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
6. Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy DeMoss
7. Shadows of Light by Eva Marie Everson
8. Life With God: Reading the Bible for Spiritual Transformation by Richard Foster
9. A Young Man After God's Own Heart: Turn Your Life into an Extreme Adventure by Jim George
10. The 13 Most Important Bible Lessons for Teenagers
11. Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible: Flawed Women Loved by a Flawless God by Liz Curtis Higgs
12. Becoming a Contagious Christian by Bill Hybels
13. Too Busy Not to Pray by Bill Hybels
14. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller
15. unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity by David Kinnaman
16. Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella
17. Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella
18. Amish Country Crossroads by Beverly Lewis
19. Courtship of Nellie Fisher series by Beverly Lewis
20. Just Hand Over the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt by Karen Linamen
21. 3:16: The Numbers of Hope by Max Lucado
22. And the Angels Were Silent: Walking With Christ Toward the Cross by Max Lucado
23. Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry For His Touch by Max Lucado
24. It's Not About Me by Max Lucado
25. A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur
26. 12 Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur
27. 12 Ordinary Men by John MacArthur
28. Lord Change My Attitude (Before It's Too Late)by James MacDonald
29. Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney
30. Truth Unplugged by Gena Maselli
31. If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg
32. Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
33. Boom: A Guy's Guide to Growing Up by Michael Ross
34. A Warrior's Heart by Michael Ross
35. 30 Years a Watchtower Slave by William Schnell
36. One Month to Live by Kerry Shook
37. Essential Truths of the Christian Faith by R.C. Sproul
38. David Great Lives Series by Charles Swindoll
39. Great Lives: Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives by Charles Swindoll.
40. Paul: A Man of Grit and Grace by Charles Swindoll
41. Discover Your Spiritual Gifts by Peter Wagner
42. Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver
43. Sophie's Heart by Lori Wick
44. 23 Minutes in Hell by Bill Wiese
45. Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard
46. The Parables of Jesus by Matt Williams
47. Because of Jesus by Connie Witter
48. Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? by Philip Yancey
49. 100 Things Guys Need to Know by Bill Zimmerman

I feel like I should add one more to make it an even number. Of course, this doesn't include all the books I already own that I SHOULD be reading, which I might make a list of at another time, except that REALLY no one even cares about this!!

I am back on track pretty much after having bronchitis, although I am still phlegmy. Although Stephen stayed home from work today, but I think his is more of a mental health day than anything. We have just been going and going and going for the past couple of months. Our immune systems are telling us to slow down! If anyone has any great books they'd like me to read, please let me know and I'll add them to my bookmooch wishlist!

Monday, March 24, 2008

10 Things I Want to Make

1. spaghetti sauce
2. guacamole
3. dog treats
4. all purpose house cleaner
5. sugar scrubs
6. mouthwash
7. candles
8. bread
9. pretzels
10. doughnuts

Sunday, March 23, 2008

fun things

1. roast beef and mashed taters
2. mom and dad
3. card games
4. church
5. sunrise
6. naps
7. Friends
8. friends
9. cooking
10. steak
11. more card games
12. Easter egg hunts
13. candy
14. Easter baskets
15. leading the March Madness brackets (although I may have just jinxed myself...)

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Don't Need No Stinkin' List

1. I can't think of a thing to blog about.
2. I am sweating from my hot flashes.
3. CranApple is so good.
4. Naps are so good.
5. I'm making pound cake right now.
6. We saved $51 grocery shopping today, and only spent a little over $100 for our monthly rounds!
7. I love buy one, get one free.
8. I am exhausted.
9. Joel McHale makes me giggle.
10. My husband is a great nurse.

Friday, March 21, 2008

List of "plugs"

1. I know it's pretty late notice but my mind has been a little slow this week! I want to plug our church's Easter drama that's happening this weekend!

When: Friday, March 21 at 8pm and Saturday, March 22 at 8pm
Where: Faith Baptist Church, 2180 Carthage Rd, West End NC 27376 (there is a map here)

This is an outdoor drama that takes you from the time Jesus was betrayed in the garden by Judas until the resurrection. We have worked incredibly hard on everything, from lighting to the costumes to making everything scripturally accurate. We wrote this play, it wasn't bought by us. It is so important to us that as many people see it as possible in hopes that someone will get saved from it!!

Come and see Jesus beaten as He carries the cross, see Him praying in the garden, see Him be literally lifted up on the cross, and then see the awesome ending!

Stephen is the thief on the cross that gets saved and I am a crowd member who is a spitter! Although I probably won't since I'd hate to actually infect anyone...

The man who is playing Jesus is utterly, insanely believable. I promise you, if you are able to come you will not regret it. If you need better directions than on the map, email me or call me, or comment and I will get you there!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

More Knowledge I've Gained from Pop-Up Videos

1. Colors like red and yellow can make people feel happy and energetic.
2. The average hospital bill is $13, 415.
3. The average person changes careers every 13 years.
4. The average baby is 75% water - the average adult is 60% water.
5. 40% of NYC cab drivers hail from Pakistan.
6. 74% of Americans believe our government engages in clandestine activity.
7. Toy makers introduced the first baby doll that ate and dirtied her diapers in 1972.
8. Gazing directly at stars though a telescope can damage the eye's retina, but not iris.
9. Melted butter does not help burns.
10. The first evidence of lipstick used was found in a 5000 year old Sumarian cave.
11. 1 in 3 people believe plastic is essential to life.
12. Doctors believe 1 in 7 people can't digest milk.
13. Ancient Europeans believed milk baths cured wrinkles.
14. Half of Americans think Socrates was an Indian chief.
15. Cher is dyslexic.
16. Pirates still exist - they were responsible for 51 deaths in 1997.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Four Things

A) FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: church, work, Jenn's, mom and dad's

B) FOUR PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME: Stephen, Jenn, Gail, Taylor

C) FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: mexican, italian, american, subs/sandwiches (I think that pretty much covers it!)

D) FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: church, Pennsylvania, outdoors, out with fun people

E) FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER: Closer, Love Actually, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, 50 First Dates

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Signs Your College Basketball Team is not Going to Make the NCAA Basketball Tournament:

10. When team makes a basket, everyone hugs and squeals, "Yippee!"
9. Players look like the fat guy from "Lost"
8. Coach keeps pronouncing NCAA "NICKAHHHHH"
7. Before hitting the court, team eats lovely meal of fettuccine alfredo
6. They spend timeouts discussing who will win "American Idol"
5. Team let shot clock expire because they enjoy the buzz
4. School's mascot is a giant asthma inhaler
3. Players regularly leave the game early to beat traffic
2. Point guard is leading the league in hernias
1. They score less than Eliot Spitzer

Monday, March 17, 2008

Just a little contagious

Congratulate me - I don't have the flu! I do have an upper respiratory infection, so don't come near me until Wednesday! Stephen doesn't count. I'm on three new meds now, so I'll probably be out of it tonight and tomorrow. I never posted our rock climbing pictures when we went with the youth group, so I thought I'd throw these up here since I don't have anything else pressing.

Pros and Cons of being sick

1. Headaches
2. Achy body
3. Fever
4. Hot flashes/cold chills
5. Dry cough

1. staying home from work
2. chicken noodle soup
3. hot tea
4. watching TV all day
5. sleeping as long as you want
6. orange juice
7. curling up beside a fire under blankets
8. baths

Not that being sick is fun but if you don't feel too bad, it's kind of like a free vacation day!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Ten Ways To Know You're Cheap

1. You attend a weekly coupon club.
2. You've been driving on the spare tire for over three months.
3. Fast food is your idea of fine dining.
4. You spend more time counting change during a single week than you spend at church.
5. You're outraged when the price of a can of soda goes up a nickel.
6. You haven't purchased anything name brand in over 10 years.
7. You take the pennies from the container next to the cash register.
8. Your family gets Christmas presents the week after Christmas because you love that 50% discount!
9. Matinee. Every time.
10. Ramen flavors correspond to days of the week in your home.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Concerts I've been to

Last night we took the youth group to Winter Jam. Being at concerts brings back some good memories for me. I think there is nothing better than seeing your favorite bands perform live, and nothing worse than seeing a bad performance by one of your favorite bands. I really can't think of a concert I've been very disappointed by. Even if one band wasn't great, the others have always made up for it. Last night, we saw Mandisa, Connersvine, PureNRG, Group 1 Crew, Newsong, MercyMe, Barlowgirl and Skillet. The only disappointment I had really was Barlowgirl. They are one of my all-time favorite bands and they only had 25 minutes to play, so they really rushed through their performance. But everyone else MORE than made up for it! I can't even describe how awesome the other bands were. You just had to be there. So I thought my list for today would be bands I've seen live. I'm sure I'll forget a ton because I could never remember every concert I've ever been to. But here's a start:

Group 1 Crew
Kid Rock
Powerman 5000
System of a Down
Puddle of Mudd
Jars of Clay
Black Sabbath
Papa Roach
Linkin Park
Black Label Society
Union Underground
Drowning Pool
American Head Charge
Pure Rubbish
Third Day
David Crowder Band

That's all I can think of right now. The best performances were:

Third Day
Jars of Clay

There's so many more I want to go to!!!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Things I will be doing tonight

1. Singing at the top of my lungs all the way to Winter Jam '08!!
2. Pretending I'm 15 while I'm on the van with the youth group
3. Laughing hysterically
4. Making my way to the front of the mosh pit when we get to the concert
5. Jumping up and down a lot
6. Throwing my hands in the air a lot
7. Sweating. Badly.
8. Buying a concert T-shirt
9. Talking excitedly in between bands
10. Taking tons of pictures on my phone since cameras aren't allowed
11. Trying to meet Skillet and Barlowgirl
12. Trying not to buy any food at the concert
13. Getting a good seat!
14. Getting home safely and without getting lost
15. Having the best time ever!!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Worst lines EVER!

Jenn always, ALWAYS makes fun of me for reading Christian romance novels. But I love them!! I'm reading one right now that's ESPECIALLY awful though!! And these are some of the best lines I've ever read! (Or worst!!) Yes, someone actually thought these were good.

1. Nicole had dreamed of this moment, sharing a kiss with Jason, ever since she'd watched Gone With the Wind in seventh-grade English class.
2. She wanted to kiss that mouth into a full smile.
3. If he hadn't been holding her close, she would have melted into a puddle on the floor.
4. "I can't wait four years. I can't even wait four minutes. Do I stand a chance that you love me?"
5. Jack played the strings of her heart. And she could name that tune. It was love.
6. After she left, his senses reeled hours later with her jasmine scent and feminine loveliness.
7. "Ty," she whispered. "Yes," he purred.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Fun from Kelly!

Go to plug in the information that each question is asking for. When the pics come up from the search, chose the best one on the page that FIRST shows up... grab the code and post after the question...

What's your first name?

What is your relationship status?


What is your favorite color?

Black on Red

Who is your celebrity crush?

Jason Statham


Sandra Bullock

What band are you listening to right now?

decyfer down

Who is your favorite Disney princess?


Name an alcoholic drink:

Fuzzy Navel

What is your dream vacation?


What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you love most in life?




One word to describe yourself?


I was born in:

North Carolina

I was raised in:

North Carolina

Blondes or brunettes?


Night or day?


What is your favorite movie?

love actually

What is your favorite season?


What is your favorite food?


What is your favorite sport?